Subjective vs. Objective Suffering | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Subjective vs. Objective Suffering Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Click on the above link to read an article by Phillip re Suffering related to his book Dancing With Life

Drowning

Lost my sense of direction
looking for a way back to the path
lost in the forrest of life and illness
aloneness
a feeling of sadness
running deep like the ocean
waves washing over me
drowning in fatigue
I swim to the top
only to be dragged down again
I stay with my breath
my anchor to life
where is this journey taking me
barely able to see past the minute
in front of me
a plan, make a plan
unfocused mind wanders
too fatigued
return to the breath to anchor
too tired for tears
locked inside
no where life, going nowhere
happy birthday
happy birthday
they all go rushing by
too tired
I reside behind the walls
today is the day
I'll find the path
today
today
today
sadness float away
i dive deeper under
wave after wave
a surfer in my life

Namaste
May all beings be free from suffering
Om Shanti

The Night

Sometimes I seem to develop a resistance to going to bed. I'm tired of all the time I've had to spend there. Closing my eyes to go to sleep I feel so all alone, hoping sleep will come and I'll be able to truly rest and gain some strength for tomorrow,
keep away the night
it's closing in on me
i open the window so I can hear the cars
i want to keep away the night, i'm not sure why
time for me to go to sleep
i'll be okay
i hope all sleep well tonight

Namaste
May the world be at peace

Suffering Is Impermanent | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Suffering Is Impermanent | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

A teaching from the Book Dancing with Life by Phillip Moffitt

Beautiful Day

I made it out for a walk with Dharma, always a precious to me when I can get out for a walk with her,

now the challenge of a shower, when my eyes just want to close and my body collapse, so many more things need to be done and I'm close to collapase. I know it is best to focus on what I could do, like see the beautiful blue sky, the beautiful trees some green, some starting to change their colours but I can barely sit up to type this. Sometimes I think I type words to know that I exist,
met two other walkers that spoke to me, always precious to me too.
so far I'm keeping with my promise to throw away or give away at least one item per day in order to simplfy my life. Declutter, it feels like at this rate it's going to take forever,
what will it be today?mind going foggy, and it's only 11:00am,
i can hear the birds singing amongst the traffic rushing by,
I sit and stare at tree waiting for inspiration, energy or both;
guess I must kindly nudge myself into action; before I collapse on to the bed
and this is call a good day because I did a yoga practice, walked the dog, did some reading and a little writing, what does one do when one runs out of energy?

Surrendering to Suffering | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Surrendering to Suffering Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Dharma Talk Marin Sangha Living with Difficulty | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Dharma Talk Marin Sangha Living with Difficulty Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Blessing and gratitude to Phillip Moffitt for sharing Dharma wisdom on living with difficulty and I would like to share it with you with the wish that it will help you to.

Namaste
Metta

Dharma Talk Marin Sangha Fatigue, Part I | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Dharma Talk Marin Sangha Fatigue, Part I Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

It is with great gratitude that I post this helpful talk by Phillip Moffitt on Fatigue,
His talks and book have been a great help to me.

Namaste

Surrendering to Suffering | Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

Surrendering to Suffering Phillip Moffitt Dharma Wisdom

It is with great gratitude to Phillip Moffitt that I offer this link to a helpful article on suffering.

KarmaTube: Stomacher - Untitled/Dark Divider

KarmaTube: Stomacher - Untitled/Dark Divider


Check out this video, it's beautiful and reflective

Om Shanti

DailyGood: Misfit Entrepreneurs

DailyGood: Misfit Entrepreneurs

The above is a link to an article about being yourself.

Early Morning

Empty of thought
Fatigue
what now, 10am
the day has only just begun
energy seems to be disappearing
how to replenish it is the big question
how to regain ability to function
don't want to return to bed at 10am
it feels like i was just there
i arose at 5 am
grateful to hear the birds singing
see the parade of dogs walking by
to read an email from my sister
to go for a walk
have breakfast
now, so much more needs to be done
my eyes close, my body droops
i feel my choices are few
pain surging thru my body from previous activity of sitting and walking, falling, yes I tripped fell right to the floor just what I needed
i return to my breath
will meditate in a restorative yoga position
be in the moment
surrender to what is
struggling only results in more suffering
the jarring my body took when I fell hurts
this is the present moment
Is wanting to change the present moment wrong when you are suffering
maybe not wrong, maybe there is a way, a different thought

Comfort of Dharma

Black ball of fur
all curled up
breathing in and out
a Zen girl
a black chow
becoming more peaceful
day by day
walking with her
seeing all the smiles
she is a proud dog
mindful of her environment
a good zen teacher

here comes the night

feeling sad
feeling bad
feeling lost
feeling tossed
i plead to  God, Buddha, Kwan Yin
for compassion and healing
I dissappointed my daughters
when I got sick
I let them down
I'm so sorry
I wish it wasn't so
am I still real
or have I disappeared off the radar
get me thru the night
breathing in and breathing out
stillness

Summer morning

Summer
Cool morning
wind blowing
leaves dancing
wind chimes
music
 by wind
incense smoke floating thru the air
green tree
opens my heart
cars rushing by
white sky
attention
clouds drifting
Om Shanti

A moment missed

Today barely able to sit up at the table to type I reflect upon why I called my blog journey, after all isn't a journey where you pack up and go some place, I'm lucky if I get to the store or out for a walk.or even upstairs, so why journey, I suppose I could have picked a more fitting name but that's what came to mind that day; I'm on a journey, the journey of life.  Learning to surf the ups and downs of life with a chronic illness. 

Today my granddaughter is performing at school, I would have loved to go, not able to go because of this mind numbing fatigue threatens to flood me with sadness, I keep it at bay knowing if I let it hit full force it will take away the little energy I have.  It's painful to be absent from so many things I would like to be present for, yesterday it was my other granddaughters sportsday I would have loved to be there for that to.  I often rely on other people to tell me what it was like so I can get a feeling for the event even if I wasn't there to experience it myself.  You would think I would be used to these things by now.  Do I fight back the waves of sadness, or navigate around them.  I think with my energy level the way it is right now I'm going to have to lay down something I'd rather not do right now, perhaps some restorative yoga will help me regain some balance.  So much of my time and energy seem to go towards trying to restore myself and take care of the basics where is there energy for other things?  for relationships, friendships, Where, where, where?
That's when I tell myself breath, just breath, just this moment, there will be better days, and so it is.

DailyGood: Life Without Worry

DailyGood: Life Without Worry

Lost

Feeling like giving up
trying to find a way to go on
life seems to be passing me by
how to get up and take dharma for a walk
failing
shame of
needing to take medication to cope with pain
failure as a mother, grandmother, failure as a person
what's the point anymore
feel like I'm spinning my wheels
present moment
sad moment
too many sad moments
not enough joy
burden
lost in the realm called illness
go, get up and go
why is body stuck
lost, lost, in the sea
where did things go wrong

Beauty

Beautiful green trees
Cars rushing by
Air clear with coolness
A pleasure to breathe in
Flowers blooming
Spring
The sound of my granddaughter's voice
The sound of my daugthers's voice
Joy
The ability to see and hear
So many images
So much creativity in the world
Alive
Birds singing
Wind chimes playing a song
The delicate breeze
A good cup of coffee
May all beings be free from suffering
May all beings live with balance and ease
I breathe, I am free

Zen meditation: Thicker brains fend off pain

Zen meditation: Thicker brains fend off pain

Buddha

To replace the memories of past trauma
I  now fill my mind with the teachings of the Buddha
Each suta, each word, dissappates the trauma
The words heal me
Propelling me forward to the present
Letting go of the past trauma
Letting go and replacing the trauma with a field of flowers
How wonderful, how beautiful
Flowers blooming
Down the road I hear the music of the icecream truck
Normally a not so good memory
I pay no mind to it now
Tramautic memories of the past are powerless over me
I am free at last
Flying like a bird
Diving thru the water like a dolphin
Running free

So the Lotus grows in me,

Awareness

The sun shines
the wind comes
first warm, than cold
music of birds
cars coming and going
remembering to breathe
determining what is important
 today
questions
blessed to be able to see and hear
keep promise to self
clouds, coming and going
drifting, drifting on
the wings of life


Love and Light

Reflections on mindfulness

After so many years of living on a limited amount of energy and learning to cope with pain, I look at my life thru the eyes of mindfulness; I'll never forget the day I had to walk up a hill to catch a bus, to me walking up this hill felt as difficult as climbing a mountain, each step requiring a great deal of attention and strength, I find this with many tasks that need taking care of during the day, so mindfulness fits right in with my life and was a way of bringing meaning to each task I did no matter how menial it may seem to some.

To me the tasks I complete are often the events of my life, for most people an event would be going out with friends, a trip, of course these things we be events for me but just don't happen very often due to illness; most people; not all  hurry thru household tasks to get to the next thing mostly because these days there are so many things  people need to get done, or they would rather be doing something else.  Sometimes the way you approach a task can make all the difference.  I remember a time when I had to get up to go to the bathroom sometimes 10 times a night, and each  time I would  just breathe and say okay this is it for me no point and being annoyed walking meditation to the bathroom mindfulness there mindfulness back; this is basically how I 've chosen to navigate my life and find some inner peace with living with this illness.  I find that if I do a practice each day it builds on itself and the practice gets stronger so it is easier to practice in difficult or intense situations.

Mindfulness and the practice of meditation and yoga have been my life raft; and the few people I have in my life that care about me and understand the illness; I'm lucky to have a kind and compassionate Doctor and was diagnosed by a Doctor of Internal Medicine that devoted a good part of his life to studying and understanding and supporting people with cfs/fibro.   He also started me doing restorative yoga which is a great help.  He is retired now. 

Having a daily mediation practice helps me to grow as a person and become more peaceful with the present, with whatever is going.  Many people have stated that suffering is a gift, sometimes I think it is and sometimes I think it is just too limiting.  It definitely has steered me in the direction of studying Buddhism, Meditation, Yoga.   Would I have gotten there anyway, maybe, alI know is that I have to travel the path and challenges I've been given and find a way to live in joy and contribute to the world.  Sometimes my posts might not sound too joyful; life is mostly like that even for the healthy, the wide spectrum of emotions come and go, the thoughts come and go, the challenges come and go; my goal is to find equanimity thru the come and go of it all and my hope is that if I can find equanimity the people around me might be affected by it in a positive away.

Love and Light

This day

This day the sun is shinning,
this day,
The traffic rushes by
a dog barks
a bird chirps
people walk by
cut their grass
this day fatigue blurs my world
I wish to do a yoga practice
my energy feels low,
somehow makes it difficult to go to the mat
face myself
writing feels safer,
i slept late
my breath feels uneasy
i pushed myself yesterday
how can i go back to bed when the sun is shining
my door is open
so i can see my friend the tree
i'm writing
i am alive
i must open
sometimes when I push myself too much, I find I start shutting things out, my bodies way of protecting me
from feeling too overwhelmed
i feel lost in the wilderness of illness
an environment that is still illusive
tears shed will clear the way
for a better today
breathe, forcus on my breath i tell myself
things will become clearer
i feel glued to my chair
i'm feeling so tired
too tired to make breakfast at noon
i gaze at the the tree
looking for strength and grounding
i must find the strength inside me
to do what is right for my body
so much pressure from the world
to do, to accomplish
many things I would like to do
must work with what is in front of me
my present

Love and Light

KarmaTube: Daniel Nahmod - One Power

KarmaTube: Daniel Nahmod - One Power

Lost

Today I feel so lost, as if I fell off my journey to inner peace with what is, I don't seem to have much enthusiasm for my paint brush I spoke of in my post yesterday.

It's the fatigue and the pounding headache that has gotten to me.  Taking activity and my abilitly to act and think clearly away from me.

I wish there was a magic wand to take all this suffering away.

I'm choosing to curl up in front of the tv and watch movies, other people living their lives, if I can stay awake, if I not I will listen to my body and return to bed hoping for some energy to return,

Love and Light

I am the artist of my life

I love spring, it is such a beautiful time of year, still cool enough so pollution is not too bad, everything blooming, art in motion, the whole earth is art in motion and each day I arise I am a paintbrush, I paint my life, even if I'm feeling good or not so good the brush is still in my hands and I can choose what colours I want, what words I choose to say, my motions, how I respond to my environment, if I have an instinct, when I have energy to guide Dharma to being a balanced dog; she is shy and counts on me to be her leader, a role I must fill; I am happy, I wish all beings to be happy, I wish all beings to be free from suffering and to live in balance and ease, including the earth and all that have the gift to live here and all beings near and far.

Imee Ooi - The Chant Of Metta - English subtitled version

One Conscious Breath

Young Artists For Haiti - Wavin' Flag