Reflections on mindfulness

After so many years of living on a limited amount of energy and learning to cope with pain, I look at my life thru the eyes of mindfulness; I'll never forget the day I had to walk up a hill to catch a bus, to me walking up this hill felt as difficult as climbing a mountain, each step requiring a great deal of attention and strength, I find this with many tasks that need taking care of during the day, so mindfulness fits right in with my life and was a way of bringing meaning to each task I did no matter how menial it may seem to some.

To me the tasks I complete are often the events of my life, for most people an event would be going out with friends, a trip, of course these things we be events for me but just don't happen very often due to illness; most people; not all  hurry thru household tasks to get to the next thing mostly because these days there are so many things  people need to get done, or they would rather be doing something else.  Sometimes the way you approach a task can make all the difference.  I remember a time when I had to get up to go to the bathroom sometimes 10 times a night, and each  time I would  just breathe and say okay this is it for me no point and being annoyed walking meditation to the bathroom mindfulness there mindfulness back; this is basically how I 've chosen to navigate my life and find some inner peace with living with this illness.  I find that if I do a practice each day it builds on itself and the practice gets stronger so it is easier to practice in difficult or intense situations.

Mindfulness and the practice of meditation and yoga have been my life raft; and the few people I have in my life that care about me and understand the illness; I'm lucky to have a kind and compassionate Doctor and was diagnosed by a Doctor of Internal Medicine that devoted a good part of his life to studying and understanding and supporting people with cfs/fibro.   He also started me doing restorative yoga which is a great help.  He is retired now. 

Having a daily mediation practice helps me to grow as a person and become more peaceful with the present, with whatever is going.  Many people have stated that suffering is a gift, sometimes I think it is and sometimes I think it is just too limiting.  It definitely has steered me in the direction of studying Buddhism, Meditation, Yoga.   Would I have gotten there anyway, maybe, alI know is that I have to travel the path and challenges I've been given and find a way to live in joy and contribute to the world.  Sometimes my posts might not sound too joyful; life is mostly like that even for the healthy, the wide spectrum of emotions come and go, the thoughts come and go, the challenges come and go; my goal is to find equanimity thru the come and go of it all and my hope is that if I can find equanimity the people around me might be affected by it in a positive away.

Love and Light